I am currently extremely pissed off by my computer.It's being an absolute bitch now.The speed is so damn slow and if I open more than 2 screens,all the Internet Explorer screens just freeze and I have to close all before opening a new page again.It's really getting quite irritating.I wouldn't use this computer if it wasn't for the fact that my other computer's internet connection is down,and I have to wait for my dad to get back before it can get fixed.
Okay Monday is,first of all,my evil twin's Birthday.Yay (clap people,clap).Haha you are one year older and you know what that means?Hah you...have a tougher NAPFA ahead!Lol I am so lame.Well,hopefully in the year ahead,you will get more cynical and dark and more *evil*(not like you aren't already).Maybe,just maybe you'll get smarter and better in English(Nooo!).Well anyway,how do you like the "present"?Haha I know the wrapping paper sucked,but I'll stuff it in your mouth if you continue laughing.Try me.Lol
Okay it was also the first day of school.How horrible.we have a new English teacher who I think has an attitude problem.She says she doesn't like people who have attitude problems,but she herself has a major case of Bad Attitude Problem.She claims to have a high tolerance level,but I suppose if your idea of high is about the height of one finger or something,then I guess it's acceptable.But if you were to ask me,I think her tolerance level is an absolute low.No arguement about it.Any objections?She had a black face the moment Lilin came in like about a minute after us.What's her problem?Does she expect us to be on the dot every single time?Go take it up with the previous teacher then.She says the next time we're late,we have to document our very movement.I wouldn't mind.Hah this kind of teachers just make me feel so urgh and I just feel like giving some of my attitude.No sense of humour.She doesn't seem to find anything the least amusing.Okay she finds the stuff that are not amusing,amusing.Get the gist?I bet we can't even make jokes in her class,because she probably wouldn't comprehend them.I wonder how she gets through life with that sour grapes expresson printed on her face.Must be tough.
Science teacher was okay.Naggy and abit lame,but still okay.Some parts abit irritating,and she seems abit forgetful(to put it nicely).Like for example,she did half an experiment,but forgot to prepare the other half.In the end,she had to re-do it.And we were not supposed to leave the acids uncapped,but she even put the dropper on the table and left the whole bottle open.Beware of contamination...but overall still quite fine.I shall not be too quick to make judgements(remember mrs gay).
Geography teacher was not bad.For a small person,she has a loud and clear voice,and she doesn't teach too badly.I'm now sitting with Christine and I think I'm going to slack like hell.Which I obviously musn't.
Tuesday had training.Out of the 6 C Div people,only 3 turned up.The other 3 were sick.Ahh..get well soon.We did weights and Nadene came back.Don't really know her well,and didn't recognize her until HY called out her name loudly.I got a shock(as in literally jumped) because I just walked past and didn't notice.Err..said Hi,although I doubt she really knows who I am.Went for training..did weights.Haha Mr Seem should have done javelin.Then can make her do demonstration lol.Okay my arms hurt like hell now from doing the [i]chang-ko[/i] thing.It's bad enough with the normal barbell,but he added weights.My arm muscles now feel so clenched up.And my performance is like...not very good now.I hope it picks up.I hope it's not only in Thailand that it was okay.Argh..okay no negative thinking.And there is supposedly some competition on Sunday-Youth Day,of all days.I [i]think[/i] I'm in.Blah...on odd week Tuesdays,I have training 3 times a day.During PE,Jogging and training.
Oh yeah and something happened that made me feel like kicking myself totally.I waited like I don't know how long for that thing to happen,and when it finally does,I'm too surprised to do anything.It was an oppourtunity lost and not coming back.That totally sucks to the core.I felt stupid and it was my one and only chance to change everything.Unfortunately,my stupidity hampered and stopped me from doing what I should have.Argh..
Just now I put like alot of Counter Pain on my shoulder blade coz it hurt,and it burned like crazy.I was screaming and it hurt.I had to use alot of water to lessen the pain.Okay I'm crapping.
Yes..and Beat's home now.Yup..didn't manage to go see her and stuff.So..hope she's better now.[LINE] [would your opinion of me change if I said I wasn't the person you thought you knew?]
[b][Day 2 - Saturday][/b] Woke up pretty early and went to the main toilet to brush my teeth and change and all that blah blah. Had training. Was quite tired. Did javelin. It was quite lousy, because all couldn’t stick into the ground and went flat. Mr Seem was telling us it was because of the wind and because the ground was slightly higher. Then told us we couldn’t aim so high otherwise it will go flat or something like that. Went back for lunch, had self-study. Then for afternoon training (actually I can’t remember which day we had this, so correct me if I’m wrong), we did the staircase thingy. It was tiring, but surprisingly I didn’t feel too tired after that. We had to run up and down the staircase.
We had interaction, but it wasn’t too successful. They tried to teach us some kind of dance, but it didn’t exactly work out. It was messy and everyone was trying to stick together, and mrtay was attempting to pull people to go in between the Thai athletes. Wasn’t a successful attempt. Then there was some game thing where the sec 4s had to go up and play. At first mrtay said sec 2s. But the sec 4s heard wrongly or something, so they stood up. Then he was like ‘oh sec 4s then sec 4s go lor’. Haha then they played this game that looked like London Bridge and then after that was tug-of-war with some kind of stick. After that they played this guitar and sang, and we did Cedar Revolution in return. I bet it sounded weird to them, but they just applauded anyway.
Oh yeah then there were a hell lot of insects there. Mrtay was saying something about how Suphanburi, Chiangmai and Bangkok had the most number of mosquitoes in Thailand, and we happened to be in one of those places. Everybody was smacking insects and killing mosquitoes and just spraying insecticide everywhere. We had to quickly open the door, dash into the room and slam the door behind us to make sure the insects couldn’t get in.
[b][Day 3 – Sunday][/b]
Had training so had to wake up early again. Can’t really remember what we did. But I think we had the volleyball game behind. Haiyun and Seon played volleyball with mrtay, Mr seem, ms leong and Ms Wong against the Thai people. We lost, but it was still fun to watch. They mixed the people around for the third game, and Seon was like so awkward in her team. It cut into some of our self-study time, and actually we were wondering if it would be forgotten altogether. But no such luck. Had to go down and study. La-di-da. Lunch, Siesta, Training, Dinner, Mental Talk and sleep. Mental talk was okay. What happened after was horrible.
There were people who screamed when the plane was taking off, and GSO was not very happy about it. Wanted to find out who did the screaming, and GSO was being damn unreasonable. Made everyone stand, and because nobody would admit, GSO just left us standing. There were people who were vouched for by the teachers, because they were sitting beside them, but the rest with no evidence, had to remain in the meeting room standing. In the end, nobody admitted to doing it, and GSO twisted the words said earlier, to blame us. Because at first GSO asked ‘who screamed?’. Not ‘who do you THINK screamed.’ Since we had no idea, obviously we kept our mouths shut. But GSO just twisted everything around and ended up with saying something about punishing everyone the next day. It spoilt everyone’s mood larh...
[b][Day 4 – Monday][/b] Ar… usual stuff. Had training and threw somemore. The athletes there have very tough training. They wake up even earlier than us and train. After that they have to go to school. And they do a lot of running. Hah they just keep running and running and running without stopping, and no water breaks. The track is so much bigger than the one in our school sia. So tiring.
Then we had interaction again. It was better than the last. We played this game whereby we had to pass this ping-pong ball using a spoon to the next person and so on. Then we sat in a circle, and had to sit like between the Thai counterparts. Met this girl called A (sorry I really don’t know how to spell) who plays volleyball and another girl called err... Jay or something like that. Yarh met some others, but don’t know their names. This interaction was much better than the last. Oh then there was this game which required holding on to some kind of pole and going blindfolded to find some biscuit tin. While we were having supper, some girl went to say goodnight or something like that to Audrey quek. Haha she was damn popular among the guys and girls there.
Oh yeah we went to some kind of buffalo farm and got to sit on this buffalo cart. Was bumpy and stuff. Then went to the shoe factory where we saw how the shoes were made and stuff like that. Was being very lame and making stupid jokes to Yani. There was this particular one about glueing which was damn funny to us, but it is those kind of you-have-to-be-there jokes. We were laughing like crazy the whole way. And Bang was with us (as in the whole group) the whole time. I wonder why he was the only student being sent to show us around. Because he had to show Amelia the way to the provision shop as well. Then she is so crazy over him. It was quite funny, because his sport is shooting, and his name is Bang. Geddit?
[b][Day 5 – Tuesday][/b] Highly anticipated day. We had no training today, and got to wake up later. Packed my stuff in my backpack and changed into casual clothing for the beach. There was a VIP bus hired to bring us there. It was double decker, and the lower deck had 2 tables. It even had a toilet. I sat with Seon at first, and we drove up to some petrol station while I listened to her mp3 player (I can’t live without music). Played with the poker cards and slept and all that. Had slight headache, then we finally reached the petrol station. Me and Seon went down to get batteries, but ended up with some food and all that. We couldn’t seem to find anything around the store, but ended up getting everything we needed. Went back, and found out that we had to wait for another bus because the air-con was not working very well for that bus. I went up, took my stuff, got down and stepped into a small drain. It was damn stupid. I didn’t see that it was not covered, and stepped right into it.
Then squashed with Seon and Haiyun. Reached the place where we had lunch. There were a lot of red ants there and they were huge. Lunch was okay-I like the tom yam soup. But the toilet was horrible. Haha why am I complaining about the toilets lol. Okay went to the beach. Had only a pathetic 2 hours to shop there, when we drove for god knows how many hours. Walked along and went 7-11. Haha there were shops there, and we went to buy some photo-frame thing. Sabrina was going around bargaining. Very funny. We were walking from stall to stall, looking for the same thing. Finally bought what I needed and then we barely had a chance to go to the beach. It was hot and I just took like 2 pictures with Seon. Haha the 2 un-photogenic people. Bought some shirt for my brother and sister. Oh and then they got some blue Hawaiian shirt for Mr Seem. Made him wear it in the bus, and he look so cool in a funny way with his cap on sideways and his sunglasses.
Had a long ride back to Suphanburi. We played Daidee (Big 2). I was so pro. Haha keep winning lol. Then abit tired so slept and then played Zhong Ji Mi Ma (some number game). Jade kena forfeit twice. First had to go up and announce like ‘Hi I’m Jade’ and the second time had to say something like I love you to Mr Seem. Can’t really remember. And Sabrina had to do one forfeit also. Had to tell Mr Seem that he was very shuai. Lol. Reached the school pretty late.
[b][Day 6 – Wednesday][/b] Discus had competition. I had to help measure and stuff like that. Didn’t get to throw a lot. Seon did PB for discus (since it was her first time throwing it) and shotput. Her discus was good. And her shotput is like no need to say. Anyhow whack without technique also can go far.
In the night had some wedding thing in the throwers room. Of Mr Bertie Jellybeans and Ms Timon Bon-bons (Haha I anyhow spell 1). It was damn funny. And well prepared. Shalom made a very good priest. Shiang Nee was chucking pillows from above. They were debating whether or not to allow her in. But she just crashed anyway. They even had Audrey Quek as the objector. She was like ‘I object!!!’. Cracked everyone up. Yani was video-ing the whole thing and a bottle of Pepsi was passed around for everyone to drink.
After that wanted to play games. But there were people who were tired and stuff, so we shifted to the jumpers room. Played concentration, murderer (at which I totally sucked) and some animal game which Shiang Nee taught. I can’t play the winking murderer properly, because everytime I wink, like nobody can see. Then Jade sabo-ed me in the day by making me murderer. I winked at Amelia thrice and she didn’t even see. In the end, when playing with the jumpers, I just surrendered.
Erhmz then GSO was saying that the screaming incident would be forgotten. I think that it’s because nobody admitted, and nothing could be done. It would be better to forget it anyway. I don’t know why it was blown up and such a big deal was made out of it. Of course, knowing GSO, I’m not particularly surprised.
[b][Day 7 – Thursday][/b] Had very short training in the morning. Just jogged and did drills. Had breakfast and went to wear polo tee and track pants. We went to attend their Teacher’s Day celebration which they specially postponed for us. It was like some kind of Buddhism thing, and the teachers were being worshipped and stuff. We had to sing this Thai song and then sat down to listen to speeches. The guys sitting to my left were like so despo or something. Kept asking the girls’ names. And they kept saying ‘I love you’. It’s probably the only thing they know how to say. Oh yeah then Shiang Nee refused to talk lol. After that had some white string tied around my wrist as a form of blessing I suppose. Received it from the teachers and Mr Seem was saying like ‘aiya okay lah you hit your PB’ to me.
Saw this guy called Sebestian/Sebastian who Yani is crazy over. He’s half-Dutch or half-German or something like that. 19 because he failed one year. My first impression was that he walked like some kind of gangster. Haha but he was not larh.
Had javelin competition. My PB is now 19.56m.Actually I thought I did further than that before. But those never measure, so I suppose this is my PB. Quite neutral about it. My arm started to hurt halfway through, and I reduced my 9-step to 7-steps, because my arm couldn’t seem to hold the javelin for that long. It was already trembling and not steady. My javelin just flew out of my hand for second throw because the grip was not firm.
Watched the running events. The Sports School people were good, but I heard a lot of people did PB. Oh there were these quadruplets. They were quite young, but very good. Very cute also. Haha we had photo-taking then left the stadium for the last time.
We had some kind of party at night, and it was fun. A lot of interaction, because we sat between the Thai people. Talked to this girl-Aranya (she plays sepak takraw) and her friends, together with Yani. They wanted us to sing Singapore Town to them, but we were abit paiseh, so just sang one verse after much persuasion. Watched their performance and then we performed Singapore Dance. It was good for an impromptu performance. Sang ‘At the Beginning’, and then it was supposed to be a sad song I think, but it became a happy song. Lol but was fun. Had this Singapore flag thingy which I later gave away to Aranya’s friend. The whole group of them very fun larh. But I didn’t get to take picture. Argh… only took with her. So sad.
Took photos, then I exchanged shirt with her. She changed with me this florescent lime green FBT shirt which was really bright. It was damn nice, and she promised to pass her SSS jersey the next morning in return for nothing. I was like o.O. They are really extremely nice and friendly there. I gave the sock to her too. Yani went to take a pic with Sebastian. It was really fun.
[b][Day 8 – Friday][/b] Aranya came at around 8.10 to pass me her shirt, and I forgot to pass her something. I felt like kicking myself after that, because I was holding it in my hand. I couldn’t find her anymore afterward. Was given some chocolate coin to give to the person standing next to us at the assembly. Okay so we went to the assembly for the second and last time for that trip. Gave my chocolate to some small girl and was looking around desperately for Aranya but couldn’t see her. Damn sad la…
Went back to load our stuff onto the bus. Some guy offered to help me, but I declined and managed to lug it down myself. Took group photo again and had 5 minutes of interaction, before we set off for the airport. Sat with Seon and listened to more music while sleeping. Sebastian, the teacher and a few students followed us to the airport. He was quite nice lah from what I saw and stuff. Took photos.
I was pissed with the GSO because of something. He didn’t believe me, Amanda, baoyue, Ulrica and Caijing. He has like limited brain space or something. Wanted to punish us. I so wanted to scream or shout or something and defy him. We were being accused of something we didn’t do. Hah Baoyue was even more pissed(and that's an understatement) because the GSO picks on her every single time.
Flight was okay. Very windy and shaky. Had some air turbulence along the way, Sat next to Caijing and Amanda again. Caijing was damn funny. Kept doing a lot of funny stuff then me and Amanda were laughing like crazy. They had TVs on the plane, but I slept. Had abit of the airplane food. It wasn’t too bad, but the smell made me nauseous also. Finally landed in Singapore. The landing was quite horrible-very bumpy and everything. Blah… took a lift back from Seon because my parents all overseas. Her parents super nice larh. Reached home and just slept until the next day to make up for all the lost sleep. That was the longest I ever slept okay… Haha I miss Thailand now lol[LINE] [Okay it took me a long time to type all of this, and I hope I haven't missed anything out.]
Woke up pretty early, because Jade was coming over to pick me up at 7.30.Hah she was complaining about how her luggage was twice the size of mine. In fact, she was complaining about it the night before. It was funny lol. We reached Terminal 1 around 7.45 and were wondering where Burger King was, because that’s where we were supposed to meet everyone for breakfast. Okay finally realized it was downstairs. So we went down… saw everyone there. Ate our breakfast before going up at 9 to check in and stuff. Then we still had some time, so we went to NTUC to walk around and buy stuff. Blah blah… went up again and we took a group photo before going into the departure hall. There were a lot of parents. Yupp… crossed the customs and just [i]koped[/i] sweets from the counter. Stuffed them in my jeans and totally forgot all about it. Slowly walked to the gate and the 6 of us did a lot of lame stuff. Went up and down this escalator to see I-have-no-idea-what, because Amelia wanted to check out what was on top. After that took the lift that was meant for the disabled up to I-have-no-idea-where and came down again. Haha Ms Lee was staring at us. And then me and Yani were being very lame. The gate was beside the start of the travelator, but we just went on it and took it back again. Okay…finally went into the gate and through the detector. Sat there and waited until we could board the plane.
Garuda Indonesia was small. Seriously. I was sitting next to Cai Jing and Amanda. But since on the flight there, I didn’t know who she was, so later on she changed places with Seon. So Amanda was sitting beside the window, I was sitting next to her and Seon was sitting next to the aisle. Opposite was Ms Lee, Ms Leong and Ulrica (heh..is this the way you spell her name?). Slept abit and I couldn’t stand the smell of the airplane food. It wasn’t bad tasting, but the smell just made me feel nauseous. Managed to eat the main dish and the dessert-some puff with chocolate and cream. There was this disgusting looking like vegetable/salad like thing which I didn’t eat. Some people just passed them to Ms Lee lol. There was no TV so I just stared out of the window and slept for a bit. Reached the airport there and the customs was not very quick. Bus ride to Suphanburi was long. Slept on the bus and listened to Seon’s mp3 player.
We reached and the school was like so damn big. As in really really big. You really got to see it yourself to know how big it really is. We walked up the stairs to the building, and the students put this flower necklace/garland around us. I think it was jasmine or something. Nice =) Went to sit down and had this yoghurt drink with some kind of cake/puff. The yoghurt drink was seriously nice. Then in the end, because throwers had 13, and the max is 10 in one room, me, Amanda and Amelia had to go to different rooms. Amelia went to bunk with the jumpers and me and Amanda bunked with the Long D. Was abit not happy about it because I didn’t know them at all. Later had some kind of introduction to the school and stuff. They have their own velodrome. There are only 3 in Thailand. Yup…and the building we were staying in was named after some princess, so the name was long.
After that went up to the rooms. All of them were bunk beds, and Amanda forced me to take the one at the top. Unpacked abit and changed into training stuff. Had some running and light training. After that went back for dinner and it was a huge portion(every meal was like that). GSO(aka –ahem-) was like ‘Oh you know my name. I’ll give you more rice’ when I asked for less. How -_-“ is that. It’s kind of impossible for me not to know GSO’s name. But just took it and went. Yes…had supper and lights out at 11.
That’s it for the first day. I know it’s long. Some things I can’t really remember, because I am suffering from amnesia. So I shall have to cross-refer to other people’s blogs and stuff like that. Right now, I’m reading Shiang Nee’s. Haha okay I shall slowly update about each day. Tell me if you don’t want to read it. I’ll update about my oh-so-boring daily life as well, so rest assured that you’ll have something to yawn at each day.
School’s starting on Monday. I so don’t want it to start. I am wondering what I’ve been doing for the past 3 weeks. I haven’t finished all my homework. The whole month just seemed to zoom past. I have barely done half the things I wanted to. The next half of the year is going to be stressing. Ahh…where the heck did the holidays go?[LINE] [Ahem, curious to know what GSO stands for?Ah well I'm not running the risk of posting it up here, although I could provide a few clues... well maybe not.Haha you could ask me]
Okay I'm back from Thailand.Anyone miss me?Haha I came back yesterday at around 6+ and slept until 10 in the morning.It was quite fun,but I shall not really go into details now because I'm still tired,and I don't have time to blog now.Me and Amanda had to bunk with the Long D people.At first wasn't too happy about it,but they were really nice.o.O anyways I have to go now.Will be back soon.I hope.
Btw,what happened to Beat?I received sms-es when I switched on my phone.I had to live on one bar in Thailand,so didn't really dare to switch it on.So..anyone care to tell me?I heard it was some accident in Malaysia or something like that?
Argh...and I have yet to get a nice B'dae present for Fedora..whoops...[LINE] [Suphanburi 18-25 June 2004]
I am currently obsessed with black.In fact,I always was(when was I never?).A pity I'm not bringing any black shirts to Thailand because it would be a real stupid thing to do considering the temperature.Well,I might just consider stuffing it in at the last minute.If my suitcase still had any space(which I highly doubt).I wonder if I have brought everything I need?I don't want to leave it to the last minute,only to rush like mad around the house and realizing that I missed out on half of my packing list.Shit..I'm scaring myself.My mind is going over the list mentally already.I suppose I am somewhat a perfectionist.I don't want to miss out anything.Even if something goes wrong,I am instantly deemed as failed.Well I just have that level of expectations for myself.I guess it's this need for perfection that makes me so paranoid.I can't stand anything that is out of place.This applies for homework as well.I'd much rather not do the entire thing than to only do those I know,and leave others blank.Those blank spaces will haunt me for the rest of the day,lingering at the back of my mind.I think I have to learn how to lose some of this paranoia and my need for self-perfection.It gets quite irritating sometimes,when I have my mind on other things and these thoughts just pop up.
Well,as I was saying,I like black.alot.I have no idea why I'm mentioning this though.Let's see..other than myself,black reminds me of..er..fedora?Haha oddly it's the first thought that comes to my mind.Actually it kind of makes sense I suppose.Lol considering what a dark personality you have.When I think black,I think fedora for a weird reason.Well,I shall stop harping on it.Just want to voice my weird thoughts.
I think I have a very weird case of split personality.I act extremely different with different groups of people.As in [i][b]extremely[/b][/i].My behaviour is totally..different.Mostly though,I'm being my anti-social crap self.I won't elaborate anymore,but if you just happen to know me,you can think it over,if you have nothing else to do.Then again,maybe alot of people are like that.
And right now,I can't stand XXX(it can refer to a singular person or more.go figure).I am damn bloody irritated at the way everyone expects some kind of frigging explanation about everything I do,and they way they hound after me.It gets on my nerves after awhile.I hate having to give an explanation for every single effing thing I do.Cut me some slack.And some people are apparently under the mistaken impression that I am the responsible sort.They just unload all the bloody shit on me and expect me to what?Point my magic fingers at it and get it done?What I can do instead is to smash your head in and laugh while you bleed.It's getting hard to resist the sadistic urges.I just feel like pulling off some irresponsible stunt and get those bleeding pricks gasping 'but I thought you were so responsible!' It gives me immense pleasure to destroy your elaborate fantasies with one blow.Have I changed?I suppose so.I didn't use to swear so much.I don't know if I like how I am now,but then again,maybe I haven't changed as much as I thought.Just another figment of my imagination.
Yeah..[i][b]people change,things change and interests change[/b][/i].THis is the only answer I'm going to give.What answer,you think.Well,think about it.I'm sure it'll come to light,maybe soon.If you think about it,as much as we don't like change,it is the only thing that remains constant in our lives.I'm done and through with explaining myself.I swear,the next blithering idiot to come after me asking anything which is even remotely connected to the question 'Why?',I am going to unleash my focking fury on you,you won't know what the bloody hell hit you.Hopefully the trip will change my views on alot of things.Although I don't think I'd be able to have much thinking time,but maybe a few days away from this craziness will do the trick.If I wish hard enough,maybe everything will straighten out by itself(yeah right).[LINE] [It's satisfying to know the amount of power and control I have over you.]
Whew..just finished packing my things.I suppose I'm more or less done.It was alot of hard work.I had to run up and down,gathering the stuff the I needed.That's the disadvantages of living in a multi-storey house.I got pretty irritated with my maid for nagging at my ear and just telling me things repeatedly.Tell me once,and I get the bloody point.I haven't packed the stuff to go in my backpack,and my luggage is able to nicely fit in all my stuff,but with no extra space.I'm wondering if I should take some stuff out.I have to hunt for work to do,since I am practically done with all my holiday homework except for the drawing of graphs and chinese(which I am actually not planning to do).I mean,I actually have to [i][b]look[/b][/i] for work to do now.The irony..I think I'm just bringing my roll of thunder(although I've read it like 4 times already),and my feng shen bang(the assigned chinese book),my science worksheet and whatever else I can dig up.There is so much self-study time that it is getting ridiculous.Bahh..I should be really glad that I have finished packing already.Just think..tomorrow night,I won't be sleeping in my own bed.I just hope the bunking arrangements are okay.Hopefully they don't mix all the events together,because there are so few throwers.I don't want to get bunched up with a whole group of people who know each other,and I would be the odd one out.It would be pure torture.Well,the good news is that you people will have at least 8-10 days of being free of my whining and complaining.Isn't that great?You can go celebrate.
Well,we still had training today.Poor us.Haha then jumpers had training also because they were supposed to train tomorrow.I wore my new Nike shoes.Whoohoo.They were cool.Nice to look at and nice to wear.Go me.Well,actually training wasn't all that bad.Did javelin.I wore spikes.I was so not used to it,and it was slightly uncomfortable and weird.But I think my last few throws were slightly better.Around 19 or 20.I think(and hope).But whenever I threw,somewhere around my shoulder blade would hurt like hell and I would become semi-paralyzed for a few seconds,and then it would have that kind of lingering pain.Owch..okay after that training ended.I love 9 step now.It so rocks.Haha it's the only one that I can do decently.woOt~ then collected the bermudas.It's blue on one side and yellow on the other.I suppose it's interchangable and you can choose which side to wear it.And we had the shorts as well.I had to carry two 1K discus-es home.Heavy...well at least we weren't made to carry javelins home(can you imangine it lol).I think,even if you walk into the airport with the javelins,you'd have security guards on your heels.
I had to take 155 to TP Central to buy the Travel Wash.Found it easily at Fairprice and left feeling accomplished.Actually because Seon was sick and Haiyun helped her collect her berms and shorts(at my insistence.how was I supposed to know?),we wanted to pass it to her at TP,but she was too sick to come out I suppose(I suspect it was on purpose).Haha so poor Haiyun had to carry them,on top of the 3K shotput she was holding.Lol.All of us had to take an implement-be it shotputs or discus-es.After that I had to go home to pack,and here I am.After packing of course.
Well I probably won't be updating for at least 8-10 days.Maybe I'll only come back after school reopens.You never know.So don't bother checking back.Unless some turd invaded(in other words,hacked) my account,you shouldn't see any posts.I know you'll be overwhelmed by sadness at my temporary departure from the blog,but I must urge you to control your emotions.Sad as you may be,rest assured that I'll be back.Lol I'm getting egoistic.Tomorrow I'll be taking a lift from Jade to the Terminal 1.Have to wake up early because they want to have breakfast at BK.Hah hopefully I'm not causing inconvenience to her yeah?Well I'm off.Have some last minute stuff to clear.[LINE] [I am not going to explain my actions to anyone.[i][u][b]Anyone[/b][/u][/ i].I'll tell you if I have to,need to or want to.For now,just fuck off.]
LAYER ONE: -- Name: Jamie -- Birthplace: Singapore -- Gender: Female -- Eye Color: black or dark brown.Either one.I have no idea exactly what colour it is. -- Hair Color: Well,it's the same as my eye colour.Just shift your eyes above and read. -- Height: 163.5cm -- Righty or Lefty: Well I'd like to believe that I can write with both,and yes,I can sometimes.But not always.My right's better. -- Zodiac Sign: Saggitarius (Saggittarius rocks woOt~) --Chinese Zodiac: horse
LAYER TWO: -- Your heritage: chinese -- Language: Chinese and English -- The shoes you wore today: Nike -- Your fears: Insects,clowns(they are pure evil) and anything with masks(well mainly those with painted faces on.Not anything stupid like cartoon character faces though) -- Your perfect meal: No idea..must contain meat though.Haha -- Goal you'd like to achieve: Getting past my severe anti-socialness and just being more self-confident
LAYER THREE: -- Your thoughts first waking up: Damn..I hate waking up -- Your best physical feature: None? -- Your bedtime: Varies between 10pm to 4am -- Your most missed memory: Probably my childhood years
LAYER FOUR: -- Pepsi or Coke: Coke -- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's.Haven't been to BK much -- Single or group dates: Whatever.. -- Adidas or Nike: Most of my stuff is Nike,but Adidas is alright too -- Usually wears: black stuff -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Don't really drink tea -- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla -- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino
LAYER FIVE: -- Smoke: No -- Cuss: Yes -- Sing: Yes( Be Surprised) --Take a shower: duh -- Have a crush: Naw -- Do you think you've been in love: ditto above -- Want to go to college: Yes -- Liked high school: debatable -- Want to get married: depends -- Get motion sickness:All the time.On boats,cars,buses,planes.. -- Think you're attractive: beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- Think you're a health freak: Waddya think.. -- Get along with your parent(s): Depends.mostly yes -- Like thunderstorms: If I'm not caught in one -- Play an instrument: Really basic piano,recorder,really basic guitar
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: yes -- Smoked: No -- Done a drug: no -- Had Sex: duh no.. -- Made Out: come on..let's get on with this thing -- Gone on a date: dots..no -- Gone to the mall?: can i say -duh-.. -- Eaten a box of Oreos?: probably not.DOn't like oreos that much -- Eaten sushi: I suppose -- Been on stage: no -- Been dumped: nobody to dump me you idiot.. -- Made homemade cookies: don't think so -- Gone skinny dipping: what kind of senseless quiz is this.. -- Dyed your hair: No.I'm fine with my hair. -- Stolen anything: No
LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color?: whatever.. -- Best hair color?: anything normal -- Height: taller than me -- Best weight: who knows.. -- Best articles of clothing: black.yay
LAYER TEN: -- Number of drugs taken illegally: zilch -- Number of piercings: ear piercings,but I don't wear earrings -- Number of tattoos: none -- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspapaer: does school newsletter count?and my NAME has appeared in newspapers.That is,just my name. -- Number of scars on my body: Alot..uncountable I think -- Number of things in my past that I regret: Mostly everything I've done.If I could turn back time....[LINE] [You have much to learn.]
I woke up at around 9 today,and dragged till 9.30 before getting out of bed.I thought I wouldn't be late,and so just dawdled my time away.I slowly changed and slowly made my way out of my house.Was supposed to be meeting Christine at YCK MRT station.The bus took horribly long and my handphone battery went completely flat on me.I couldn't even switch it on.So..had to wait for the bus to crawl to the MRT station.Upon reaching there,instead of waiting at the control station as instructed,she decided to wait where the trains were.But I found her without too much trouble.It was pretty early and we decided to go to Junction 8 to watch [i][b]Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban[/b][/i].Managed to get seats that were at reasonable places,instead of right in front where we would have to crane our necks and probably break them while watching the movie.Oh yeah..can you believe that they are actually giving out OralPicks now.In case you don't know what that is,they are toothpicks.Blue toothpicks and supposedly the best kind.Like -whatever-.
We still had loads of time,because we decided(okay I forced her to) to watch the 12.55 show.Since we hadn't eaten and only pathetically few shops were open,we headed to McDonald's to eat breakfast.Ate the big breakfast and just talked.Sat there for awhile,and then she was saying that people might (stupidly)mistake us for les',since my clothes were kind of guy-ish.I was wearing this completely black shirt and blue bermudas.After that we walked around and I was very tempted to buy a CD.We walked up and down and finally settled down in a corner where we gossiped and sang songs.Was playing with her phone and tried to record my singing,only most of the time we laughed halfway through.And I sounded pretty okay.Walked around and gossiped somemore,until around 1230 when we went up to get our food and drinks.Got a large coke and cheesy hotdog.
Well the cinema was not that crowded,but there was a hell lot of small kids.They were making a considerable amount of noise.And I really hate those intellectually challenged arseholes who don't understand the meaning of switching their phones off,or at least switching it to 'silent' mode.Oh yeah the guy sitting next to Christine was really irritating.I shall not care to elaborate.
The movie was kind of okay,except the sequence of which things happened was kind of screwed.Things that were supposed to happen first happened later and vice versa.I like Emma Watson.Haha except the parts when she started screeching.I mean,it's really high-pitched.Alot of stuff was changed and yeah..I wouldn't recommend it if you are devoted to the book,and insistent that things shouldn't be changed.Still,I'm glad I managed to watch it.But I think I'd prefer the Chamber of Secrets.I remember it well because I went to watch it on my Birthday. Did I mention 1 thing I hate about watching movies?Well I hate the part when I suddenly feel like I have to go to the toilet in the middle of watching the movie,but I know I can't.That totally sucks.You can't really concentrate on watching the movie after that.It's really stupid,and I was just sipping my drink slowly.Or at least trying to.Well I suppose that's it for now.I have to pack my stuff for the Thailand thing.But I hate packing.Urgh..and I have homework.Oh damn..
Btw,thank you to all who tagged or commented.Cheers 8) [LINE] [Overcome by an immense sense of guilt]
[u][b]Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 20[/b][/u] [i]You are insensible and generally have no control over your emotions.You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked.Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. You will then reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.[/i]
Well I just found this while randomly surfing the net.Since I am so bored,I should like to analyze how true this is.Although I am inclined to call all of it crap,but I suppose that there is some truth behind it.Some parts describe me, and I shall dissect the thing,out of my sheer boredom.Bear with me.You don't have a choice.I shall tell you which parts are true and apply for me.
Well starting from the first line-"[i]You are insensible and generally have no control over your emotions.[/i]" Well,I must say that I am no insensible all the time.Glad to say,there are times when I am actually mature(yes.believe it.) and acting my age.I can hear all you people gasping in shock.Having no control over my emotions?This does not apply all the time as well.Although I must admit that there are times my temper gets out of hand(Now you know not to get on my bad side).I try to curb it,but it normally doesn't work.Therefore,I hereby pronounce this statement [i]50%[/i] true.
Let's move on."[i]You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked.[/i]"Yes,sad to say,this is mostly true.I do get angry and pissed off easily,although I may not necessarily show it.As mentioned above,my temper is not very good,and I have a tendency to just blow up at people.It can be over a big or small matter,but I try not to appear pissed(even when I really am),if it's over a small matter.For the second part,I suppose it is pretty much true as well.When I get really pissed off,you seriously don't want to come near me.I have had people coming up to me when I'm pissed and telling me that I look very scary and fierce.I think so far in secondary school,I haven't really gotten to that kind of level of pissed-ness yet.This statement is about [i]90%[/i] true.
"[i]Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down.[/i]"Well,as to being tongue-tied,I don't think it's true.When provoked past limits,I somehow become more sarcastic and cold.I won't run out of things to say.This used to be true last time,but not now.I have this whole array of sarcastic and cutting comments that I am dying to use in an arguement.In fact,truth be told,I love having arguements.Especially when I know that I'm in the right.It provides a sort of kick for me,and gives me an immense sense of satisfaction,that I am standing up for what I believe in.So I do not think that I get tongue-tied when angry.Quite the contrary.And the second part is not true.I do not remove my anger while waiting for the other person to calm down.Most of the time,I get my angered.I don't get appeased,neither do I calm down very easily over such things.This statement is only [i]10%[/i] true.
"[i]You will then reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. [/i]" I may reason with the other person.It's a 50-50 thing.If I am really too pissed,no amount of persuasion will make me talk calmly and reason with that person.But if I think that I am 100% in the wrong or that it is completely not worth fighting over,I would reason.But that doesn't happen most of the time,so don't hold your breath.And "[i]gentle manner[/i]" is way off.If you know me,you'd probably know that it is practically impossible for me to speak in a gentle manner.Never.But I would convince that person that the whole thing was their mistake.I have a way of doing that.Somehow I can make people feel guilty and stuff.And I never like being in the wrong.I like things going my way,no matter how selfish that may sound.I mean,which screwed up idiot would actually like it when things go wrong?I just have a way to manipulate stuff.Now you know.Think you know me?Think again.Okay this is about only [i]30%[/i] true.
Last sentence."[i]You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them.[/i]"I shall pronounce this sentence [i][u][b]100%[/b][/u][/i] true.I never like apologizing,so I try not to get into fights or arguements in the first place.If I get really upset or pissed off by you,you probably did something that was really beyond limits.In fact,you can read about this in my previous entries.Once I start shouting or raising my voice,it's probably a lost cause.Hah this is probably the truest sentence of them all.
Well,I hope analyzing this has provided some insight on me(Not likely though),or at least has some entertainment value.[LINE] [I Ain't going to eat, I ain't going to sleep Ain't going to breath till I see what I wanna see And what I wanna see is you go to sleep in the dirt Permanently.]
Well I'm tired.I just walked around Orchard Road,shopping.Normally,I would find that a mind-numbing activity,but today,I knew what I had in mind.It was just really tiring.Pardon me if I make no witty statements today.Well I shall start with the same old thing-training.
Today,I woke up at the most ungodly hour of all.I got up at 6,and could barely keep my eyes open.I wanted to ask my dad to fetch me,so that I could catch up on that one hour more of sleep.Unfortunately,he just came in at 5 from Shanghai,and he still had to go off to work at 8.I decided that I couldn't be so selfish and wake him up.Stumbled out of my house at 6.45.I wanted to wear my new shoes,but somehow,it slipped my mind amidst the tiredness.I took some shortcut and reached the bus-stop pretty early.Along the way,some dog suddenly ran up to me and barked in my face.It scared the hell out of me,and somehow shocked me out of my stupor.I mean,imagine this huge dog coming up to you and just barking in your face,when you are barely awake.I looked around and wondered why the heck was it loose,and I saw this maid standing there,with this look of faint amusement.I was like 'can I remove my shoe and throw it at the dog?can i?can i?' or maybe not,since I really like dogs alot.I should probably chuck my shoe at the person who was supposed to be in charge of the dog.She has no business letting an Alsatian loose and letting him scare the shit out of everyone at the break of dawn.As if I didn't have enough on my mind already.thank you very much woman.Not.
At the Interchange,I decided it was still early and just sat there,waiting for bus after bus to leave.When I finally decided,I wouldn't reach there horribly early,I boarded the bus.Reached at around 8.Amelia cut her hair.It looks somewhat weird.And she has new Reebok shoes.It's quite cool I suppose.It's white and dark blue and has this super-cool cushion(according to her).She keeps on saying she felt that she was walking on carpeted ground. Well..did warm-ups and then leg drills.After that,Mr Seem had us do this funny thingy.It's like..there's this funny sled-like thing attached and then we are supposed to put the harness over and run with it.It has weights on it,and was kind of tiring after awhile.But,when we were made to do sprinting,the whole feeling was so different.I felt so top-light and almost fell over because I lost my balance slightly due to the uneven weight.It was so light.Was like flying or something.Fun.Haha
Erhmz..then did javelin.My last 2 throws was nice.I'm happy about it.The second last 1,I did one that was over 18,and Mr Seem also said it was nice.Then the last 1,I did about a 19+.Don't think it hit 20.Haha but still happy.I was like o.O lol.Cheers =) Then we went to the workshop where Liang Ming gave us some pack list,but I had to leave halfway because Amelia was late.But first I had to pay the $$ for the track suit and collect my spikes.I think they are somewhat small(I have big feet.Ahh).But it was the biggest already.And since Jade had to tape her shoes,Amelia offered to help her find someone to mend them.
Oh and after that,Amelia just dumped them on me because it couldn't be mended.I'm supposed to pass them back to Jade,but she's not at home.Ah well..tomorrow I suppose.
Later we took MRT to Raffles Place.I had to carry the shoe box on the train and MRT.Went to meet Amelia's mum while discussing some serious stuff along the way.Haha then we took MRT back to Centrepoint.Bought SBs,and went around in search of vests and shoebags.Couldn't find anything,and just walked around Orchard Road.I was feeling so tired I tell ya.The cushions in my shoe was horribly useless and that lucky Amelia got to walk on 'carpeted floor' all the time.But it was fun 'coz her mum was really cool.Hey fe,I think both your parents speak good english.It makes you go o.O when you hear it.In a good way.I think my english is getting from bad to worse.I said alot of things that are grammatically wrong,and i think that's pathetic.I don't seem to make alot of sense and my english is just really bad now.Okay I'm off before I torture you people with my gramatically incorrect english.Oh yeah and I found out stuff about a certain person.I never knew it before.Cool.Haha I shall store it for future use.Yay this day has been fun.Haha training seemed really short as well.Funn =)
[b][i]Note : Hey [u]eugene[/u] and [u]Autumn[/u] ,mind making yourselves known?Just curious about the people who have been flooding my board[/i][/b] =)[LINE] [there's so much that time cannot erase.have we lost ourselves?]
Well..my brother willingly heated up the spaghetti for me,and he even helped me scoop it out together with the sauce.It may sound very stupid here,but he usually just ignores me so..this is considered a big deal for him I suppose.After that I ate some dessert thingy.It tasted faintly of chinese herb,and had this super huge aloe vera cube.It was sticky and I didn't like the herbal taste.But I just stuffed it in my mouth and kept my mouth shut.I remember there was this period of time,when me and my brother didn't even bother to talk to each other.I have no idea why(or at least I can't remember),but we just ignored each other's presence.We couldn't seem to bring ourselves to talk to each other,even when we passed each other on the staircase.We only spoke in a monotone voice if we absolutely had to.
Hmm..just another few more random thoughts.You know one thing I have been taught as I grow up,is to shut up and shut up quick.We are just supposed to obey and not ask.We have to swallow whatever the government stuffs down our throat,regardless if we are able or not.We are expected to listen to instructions and not to doubt the system.In the past,alot was put on academic achievement.Now they want to scrape that and start making us all-rounders.They don't want to rank schools anymore.We are all expected to adapt and change to whatever the government implements on us.But Singaporeans have been taught and raised to obey without question.We are not supposed to challenge the system.We all become unable to express our thoughts very freely,because there are restrictions imposed everywhere.Much as I don't want to agree with him,but I think what -ahem- said makes sense.Singaporeans don't know how to accept praise properly.All we know how to do is bury our heads in books and do whatever we're told.That's what we do best.But we become so confined in our books that we lack social skills.Yes..I shall stop here,because there may be people who don't agree.Maybe all I'm doing is describing myself-what if my lack of communication and interaction skills.
I think I have alot of weird thoughts.They just come nd go randomly,especially when I have nothing to do.I don't really tell people about them,because I think it sounds really weird.If you ask me to remember one off-handedly,I can't.It just comes when there is any form of inspiration.In fact,I'm sure everyone has their own weird thoughts from time to time.Well..I'll come back if I think of anything else.I think I've been very addicted to blogging these few days.I'll end off with a quiz.And guess wat..I'm still bored!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. Congratulations and thank you!
Bahh..this day is turning out to be more and more boring.And this is only Day 1.I would probably have fossilized by the end of the week.Remember,if you call my house and I don't pick up,call the police.Better yet,call the archaeologists.They can make a study of someone who has actually been bored to death.It'll hit the headlines.Story of the year,I'm sure.My brother is currently holed up in his room with his friend,and hopefully rotting away.I am sitting down here,being supremely bored.Why should he be having fun?I can't even sleep now,even though I snoozed at 4am.I think it's perfectly retarded.I woke up at like 8,and couldn't go back to sleep again.My screwed up biological clock.Cut me some slack will you?I need my precious sleep and I'm being deprived of it.I gave up hope after 15mins of tossing and turning and sat up to read [i]Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix[/i],while listening to [i]Hybrid Theory[/i].It so kicks ass and I personally prefer it to [i]Meteora[/i].I put it on repeat and listened to it like until 11+.That was when i realized I missed [i]Prince of Tennis[/i].I was swearing and jumping out of bed when I realized 3 minutes of the show wouldn't make a difference.Lay back down and resumed reading.
Well,I don't really like Order of the Pheonix because the story is too draggy.It gets somewhat irritating,and Harry Potter just becomes an insufferable prat.He complains and shouts at every little thing.It gets pretty irritating after awhile.The whole story is just dragged on and on to make it longer I suppose.Okay to cut a long story short,I prefer the first 4 books.If I went on,you'd probably be bored about halfway.I am in a very bitchin' mood now and I'm going to complain about everything.And why do my sentences all seem so incoherent and disjointed.
I am supposed to have spaghetti for lunch,but I am seriously too lazy to heat it up.I was planning to get my brother to heat it up for me(And i know he would too),but he's too pre-occupied with whatever he's doing.Anyone knows if you can put glassware in the microwave oven?I don't want to risk it blowing up in my face.I almost did that once,when I put some gold-plated plate inside.Thankfully,my mum spotted before I could fry my face.I suppose I'll have it cold,unless I can persuade my brother.He has been surprisingly nice to me these few days.We walked my dog yesterday,and he actually walked all the way to the mini-mart to get me a drink(with his own money),while I went home.When there was this stupid flying insect which refused to get out of my room,he put aside his game for a while and helped me get rid of it.Although it was pathetically small(yes,yours truly is actually a [i]snivelling coward[/i] whose afraid of insects,especially flying ones,no matter how small),but I was frozen while contemplating the best way to get rid of it.I want to smack the paper I was holding on it,but I was too cowardly to even move.I hate insects.Urgh..they disgust me.My room is turning into some kind of pigsty,and soon it'll probably become unfit for human inhabitation.I eat in there,and just chuck all my rubbish into some pathetic bin which is overflowing with ants.My room is full of ants and there are probably cockroaches and other insects.Oh gross..there'd better not be any.I'll just freak.It's times like these which make me actually appreciate my brother.
I feel like complaining and bitching,but I'll leave it for later.Right now,I'm off to blow up my kitchen.Call the cops if I don't come back.Hopefully it won't be [i]too late...[/i] or you'll have to pick my remains..gahh..I'm not making sense anymore.[LINE] [It's better to be isolated by choice than to be isolated by others.]
Well don't you just hate it when people ask you mindless questions that make you wonder where they left their brains.It makes you question the presence of their brains.Those pathetic turds just seem to spout whatever nonsense that comes out of their heads.Then again,maybe I'm being really mean here.Shouldn't I be grateful that they are actually making conversation with pathetic and anti-social me?But sometimes,I really can't stand inane small talk.It is a waste of time,and I only carry on the conversation out of sheer politeness.I provide monotone answers,while just nodding in the right places.Most of the time,my mind wanders and they suddenly ask me stuff like '... right?' and I will be like 'huh?' because I haven't been listening at all.But,I have ways to manipulate the situtation such that they will repeat the question,and will not doubt my attentiveness.
There are times when people ask me 'Why are you so quiet'.Well mostly,I can tolerate this question,and I reply by just smiling and shrugging.But for some other people who ask this question,I really cannot stand it.I mean..why the bleeding hell do you think I'm not talking to you?How about trying,because I have nothing to say?I should think that was pretty obvious.If I had something to say,I would have said it already wouldn't I?The blatant stupidity of people sometimes..Okay,they may just be trying to generate conversation,but can you say something more interesting?Something that I can actually talk about instead of answering such 'we-both know-it's-stupid' kind of questions.Of course,I may be simply biased towards some people,and don't even feel like talking to them at all.That is completely possible,and those people probably couldn't carry off an intelligent conversation anyway.I am being really mean here,but I am getting pretty irritated.Especially when I'm in a rush for time,yet I have to slow down to answer such things.Maybe some time when I have nothing better to do,or maybe when my brain has become completely rusty,I'll take up the offer of having such conversations.Right now,I don't think so.I suppose it actually has to do with the people asking the questions.Well..I could think of more stupid questions,but I'm tired of typing now.[LINE] [u][b]Colours of the Wind - Vanessa Williams[/b][/u] You think I'm an ignorant savage, and you've been so many places, I guess it must be so, but still I cannot see, How the savage one is me, How can there be so much that you don't know, You don't know,
You think you own whatever land you land on, The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim, But I know every rock, and tree and creature, Has a life, has a spirit, has a name,
You think the only people who are people, Are the people who look and think like you, But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, You learn things you never knew, you never knew,
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colours of the wind? Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest, Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth, Come roll in all the riches all around you, And for once, never wonder what they're worth,
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers, The heron and the otter are my friends, And we are all connected to each other, In a circle, in a hoop that never ends,
How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you'll never know, And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon, whether we are white or copper-skinned, Can you can sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colours of the wind?
You can own the Earth and still, All you'll own is earth until, You can paint ,with all the colours of the wind...
I really should be sleeping now,but I can't.These few days I have been so hyped up at night.I think I'm on some kind of high.Maybe it's all the caffeine that I have been consuming.But wait..what caffeine?I have not been consuming any.I think it's just my brain that doesn't want to give me a well-deserved break.Did I mention my mum and sis are leaving for Shanghai tomorrow,with my Aunt?The house will be left with only me,my maid and my brother.Everything will just be so dead and I think I'll spend most of my time outside.There's basically nothing for me to do at home than to surf the net and watch tv.Okay,I might get a little homework done,but don't hold your breath.Homework has little appeal to me,and I really have no wish to sit my butt down and slog away at maths problems.I just copy it off someone else,although I really shouldn't,because I have aleady forgotten how to do even the most basic sums.I should take this chance to properly revise.Yea..tell my slacking self that.It will laugh in your face.
Well..this morning it was one helluva rush.Me,my mum and my sister went to AMK Central where my sister had to take her passport photos for some document stuff,and we couldn't seem to find a shop at that hour.Finally,we managed to locate one at some corner and just hurried there to take.My mum decided that we should all take ours,to save time in the future.I must say that it didn't turn out so bad,and I didn't look as spastic as I usually did.I took one with specs and one without,because that guy said that there was reflection on my specs,but I personally think it wasn't that bad.Well he suggested I take another one,and my my mum encourage me because he would give her the specs one for free anyway.Might as well take both.I suppose it turned out okay.At least I didn't cringe when I saw it.That's a first.
After that we went..to Sportslink where I got a new pair of shoes,because for some reason,the cushion in my current one seems to be disappearing,and it hurts to wear it for long periods of time.Apparently,you are not actually supposed to wash your shoes(I can hear all ye people going 'WHAT?! NOT WASH MY SHOES??but..but..but..think of all the fungus and..and..bacteria!').Okay well calm down.What I meant was that you don't give it really vigourous scrubs.If properly kept,the cushion is supposed to last for around 3 years,as I was told.I think I kind of irritated the salesperson because I kept looking at different designs and trying on different sizes.In the end,I got this Nike one which is grey with the red Nike tick.It was supposed to be Men's shoes though.Yeap..I am going to pay for half of it myself.I can't let my mum pay for it all,because it is kind of expensive,and I feel bad.Yup..rushed like hell around AMK getting our stuff and rushing home.It was like 1.30 and I changed into my school uniform in record time.My mum sped and managed to reach school in time.Went there only to realise that Amelia was wearing house tee,after she made me wear school u.If I wore house tee,think of the time I could have saved..anyways..went for meeting.Briefed us on the Thailand trip.There seems to be alot of time spent on self-study..I suppose I'm just going to slack through it.WHat can I say?I'm a born slacker(As if you didn't know that).
Ah..after that meeting,I went to McDonald's with Amelia because she had tuition and didn't want to waste time going home.We sat down there and studied.Well okay,she studied while I copied her maths homework,simply because I was too lazy to work my brains(yes.be surprised.I actually [u]do[/u] have brains.amazing isn't it?).I basically finished most of it and then just listened to the Disney's Refresh CD.I really like Part of Your World by Jessica Simpson.It's such a nice song that I was listening to it over and over again.Oh I really like Colours of the Wind and Reflection as well.Nice!!I kept putting these few songs on repeat and Amelia was getting sick of it.
After that we had to go to Amanda's house to collect Amelia's gameboy.Well it's actually her brother's and Amanda forgot to return it to her.We took the train to Kovan and then walked to Amanda's house,and she was having tuition.We sat and talked and then her Mum came down and gave us the Gameboy.After that she gave me a lift to the bus-stop and brought Amelia to her tuition place.The horrible bus took such a pathetically long time that I was stoning there and practically fossilized by the time it actually came.I was getting quite irritated because there were at least six 147s and they practically came one after another.Well..managed to get home successfully in the end.Pretty boring isn't it..I can hear all you people yawning away already.Well..you have to bear with it :twisted: I haven't started on today yet.Lol
[b][u]Saturday[/u][/b] Well..because my mum and sister had to leave for the airport early,she fetched me to school super early.I had to get up at some unearthly hour.I should have taken the bus instead though.Guess what time I reached school? 7.35!I was the only thrower there,and I sat there reading my comic.Only it was distracting because the Sprinters were there.I was so extra and sat there alone until like around 8,when they started warming up.I went to the foyer to wait for somebody to come.That Yani was limping and hobbling and yet she insisted on coming for training.She was like trying to prove to me that she could still jump.Well..Amanda didn't come because she was sick with flu,and her mum didn't want her to come.She said it might lead to heart failure.Well..she's the nurse.We had to do weights training today and I suppose it wasn't too bad.Then we threw and Mr Seem concentrated more on the discus people.Yup..and I came home and slept.What an [b]exciting[/b] life I lead.I'm home alone for this week.Whoopee.Not.
[b][u]Part of Your World - Jessica Simpson[/u][/b] Look at this stuff Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the girl The girl who has everything?
Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you'd think, Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmo's a-plenty I've got whozits and whatzits galore You want thingamabobs? I've got 20.
But who cares? No big deal. I want more....
I wanna be where the people are I wanna see Wanna see 'em dancing Walking around on those What do you call 'em? oh, feet!
Flipping your fins you don't get to far Legs are required for jumping, dancing strolling along down the What's that word again? street
Oh, Up where they walk Up where they run Up where they stay all day in the sun Wandering free Wish I could be Part of that world
What would I give If I could live Out of these waters? What would I pay To spend a day Warm on the sand? Bet'cha on land They understand that they don't reprimend their daughters Bright young women Sick of swimming Ready to stand
And I'm ready to know what the people know Ask 'em my questions and get some answers What's a fire and why does it What's the word? burn When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love Love to explore the shore up above?
Out of the sea Wish I could be Part of that world
Out of the sea Wish I could be Part of your world[LINE] Who is that girl I see? Staring Straight,back at me Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide Who I am,though I've tried When will my reflection show,who I am inside?
Today we had training,and I suppose it wasn't so tough.Because me and Haiyun couldn't block properly, Mr Seem had us throw softballs in the tennis court.I think I could throw the softballs pretty well,but it [i]is[/i] very different from holding a javelin.I'll just bet that I wouldn't be able to do the same thing with the javelin.Yes..and then the softball hit Seon's head.Just lightly because I threw very hard and Haiyun didn't manage to catch it.Listened to the Disney Refresh CD and also the Jay Chou ones on Haiyun's Discman.Decided to go Toa Payoh Central because I wanted to eat lunch and I didn't feel like coming home.Walked around with Seon and Haiyun,and we finally decided to eat at Long Jonhs.It was a bad mistake.
There was only one freaking counter there,and the queue was so bloody long.I mean..get the manager out!Looking at the crowd,surely it would occur to him to actually get someone else so that people wouldn't have to stand so long in the queues and dying of boredom in the process.I guess I can't complain since I was just sitting there,while I bullied Seon into queueing for me.I'm mean.And that guy at the counter was probably gay or at least metrosexual.I was so irritated at him.He had this big earring,and it's not that I have anything against guys who wear earrings(well actually I do.Especially huge ones).It didn't suit his face,and his voice was just so grating on my poor ears.He sounded like he was trying to lower his voice to make it sound good or something.Sad to say,it sounded really horrible and irritating.He made Seon and me wait for our food.And no,it's not the waiting part that I'm pissed at.I'm not so petty.
Long John's apparently doesn't give those kind of number thingys like McDonald's or even Mos,so that they don't forget your order.We went back to sit,and guess what..20 minutes later we were still waiting.Haiyun practically finished her food already.I was so sick of waiting and I just felt like throwing the chilli packets at him or just threatening him with the knife,which sad to say,is plastic.5 minutes later,it became apparent that he had forgotten our order.These Boys Brigade's boys had already queued from the back of the line to the front,and we were still waiting for our food.In the end,we went up to the counter and demanded(okay well more like asked) for our food,which wasn't ready.We didn't have to wait that long though,and we just took our plates back to our seats.Who knows..he gave us the wrong combo.I was so prepared to just tip the plate over his bandanna-ed head or just stuff the chicken down his throat.That's what you get for serving me the wrong thing.Thank goodness Haiyun was sharp enough to realise that we had gotten the wrong combo.Seon cut through both and realized that they were both chicken.Without having to cut through mine,I realized that mine was chicken as well.At first we were prepared to ignore it,but we realized that we had paid extra for it,and went back to complain.I was using a sarcastic tone and practically rolled my eyes in his face.I think he didn't realize though.But everyone in the queue was staring.Maybe I was abit mean,but hey I was goddamn hungy.So sue me for being hungry.And he didn't realize Seon cut through her chicken already.But even if he realized,I wouldn't care.Managed to get through lunch successfully after that.Remind me never to go to that place again.Stupid gay.Nothing good ever happens.I remember the other time..Ah well..story for another day.[LINE] [morbid thoughts and sadistic fantasies.]
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.[LINE] I think it's pretty meaningul,and I took it off [b]jimy61[/b]'s blog.Read through it and think about it..
Guess what... I just blogged a horribly long entry and the whole fucking plug for my computer came out. I have no idea why the hell it happened, and I am seriously surprised that it could just pop out. But since I am in a relatively okay mood, I shall start all over again.
This is going to be an entry about a typical day and if you are yawning already, I welcome you to click that nice red ‘X’ at the top of the page. I guarantee that it will free you of my droning about the day.
In the morning, I woke up at like 6, despite having slept at 2am.I was feeling so energized and I have no idea why. It is just my screwed biological clock that takes pleasure in waking me up at the unearthly hours and watching me wake up with bleary eyes and knowing that I was supposed to sleep for a few more hours. At around 8+, I was resigned to the fact that I wasn’t going to get anymore sleep. So went to bathe, and it just energized me again. Haha after that sat around to read books. At around 9, I left the house with my brother. He was heading for school and I was heading for jade’s house.
Took some back alley shortcut and around 9.05, I was outside her house, and I called her handphone several times, but she left it upstairs and didn’t pick it up since she was reading the papers downstairs(as she said later). I was just standing outside there like some retard while the neighbours were all staring at me like I was going to plant some bomb in their dustbins. The people driving past were all looking at me like I was some kind of perverted stalker. The person across the street was bloody irritating. She was washing her car and staring at me at the same time. Lady, rest assured that if I had a bomb, I’d be sure to chuck it at your house.
Although I knew her parents’ were not at home, but I had my doubts about calling her house or ringing the doorbell. After standing around for like 10 minutes, I finally called the house. She picked up and then came out, looking all sleep-deprived. Turns out she slept at 2am as well. Okay when we came out, the nosy woman opposite just carried on staring like we were a pair of homosexuals. I mean seriously… what the hell is her problem?
Yah then we walked the horribly long way to the market. Just crapped and talked a lot. Commented on the houses around, and I was saying that they were all very secluded. I was being very sarcastic and nice at the same time. Finally reached the market. Went to McDonald’s. I was pretty hungry and we ordered hotcakes. That was like my first time in a very long time eating that. At first wanted to ask jade to treat me or something but she brought out less money than me, so I paid first. Now she owes me $1.25 lol. Yah then I ate really slowly, and she was slowly freezing. It took me forever to finish my hash browns and those people at McDonald’s are not honest. Jade’s hotcakes were so much bigger than mine. Oh the unfairness of it all. After finishing, we took some long way back and then because it looked like it was going to rain, so she suggested we go to her house. Being the agreeable ol’ me, I agreed. Haha
Erhmz… stoned in front of the television while jade just channel surfed. And her house is very nice =) We sat in front of the television talking. About… why I was so anti-social, and about how we really can’t apologize to people. For me, if say I accidentally knock into you or something, I would apologize. I don’t mind apologizing for a small matter, but if it is say, a big problem like say major conflicts, I really wouldn’t be able to bring myself to apologize. I don’t know why, and you can think that I’m abnormal. Normally, I think that I am pretty tolerant, so if I start raising my voice at you, you should start taking the hint. I try to smile everything off, and I think I do have a rather high tolerance level, so if I seriously start shouting, you must have done something that I really am unable to swallow. Basically, that can include a variety of things, such as if you start making comments or remarks about my family, friends or any other people close to me. But shouting’s not the worst yet. The worst is when I get this really low and cold voice. I don’t really use it, but it should be like some kind of danger sign already. When I start shouting, more often than now, that friendship can’t be salvaged, because I totally won’t bring myself to apologize. I really can’t.
Yes… after that went up to her room to just hang around and she actually has a four-poster bed. No kidding. It was ridiculously huge and I was like gaping at it with my mouth opened wide. Maybe I’m just deprived or something, but she’s seriously the first person whom I have seen, who actually has a 4-poster bed, complete with curtains. Started talking about very morbid stuff. About dying and things like that. I think most of it was started by me. Then she started getting very serious also. Well abit… I suddenly have this liking for blood and sadistic stuff. Haha I was trying to freak her out by telling her about my Literature poem that I submitted, and about how explicit it was. It was so detailed and the pain can be felt. About actually using a knife to cut yourself. Ms Lavina has yet to return it and I bet she is probably going to refer me to some counselor. Haha I’m crazy. Then she was telling me about this book that sounds really cool. I’ll try to remember what I can.
[i]It’s about this people being chosen to go to some island for some survival thing, and all of them know that once they go there, they won’t return, because they’ll all end up killing each other. It sounds really interesting, because they just have to chop each other’s heads off, and it is really sadistic. [/i]
I just like such books. Books that play on your psychological side. That tell you that nobody around you can be trusted. I love reading them. It provides me with a twisted sense of elation as I flip through it and absorb it word for word. I love those kinds of books where the people around you can just betray you anytime. It reminds me not to be too trusting. These books just appeal totally to me. Hah… any to recommend? No fantasy for me though. Jade reads all these fantasy and some romance stuff. Ahh… I don’t like fantasy. I just like stuff that I can actually relate to. Something practical and close to my life. My fantasies all live in my head. I think that’s enough for me.
Er… after that she went to do work. I actually managed to stay there and stone for about an hour or so, watching her do homework. Okay, so I flipped through some magazines and books. After that watched her go online, listened to some songs, watched sadistic films online and then my brother messaged me, telling me to go back. So screwed. I was contemplating pon-ing tuition for that day, by simply not making it back in time, but my screwed up excuse of a brother didn’t bother to help me cover up. He just insisted that I go home. Stupid… I was very irritated at his blatant stupidity and at my teacher who insisted I have tuition as well. Jade walked me back home, used my toilet and then went back again in the rain. It was only a drizzle. The lightning stopped at the wrong time. If it was a thunderstorm, I could make an excuse that I couldn’t go home. But No… it just had to stop. Thanks.
Bah… tuition was crap. It was so mind-numbing and brain frying that I was amazed I could actually sit through it. She was teaching something about light. White light consists of 7 different colours. Did you know that? Fascinating isn’t it. Okay well some rare parts were okay and somewhat interesting. But not many were like that. Well… this is a damn long entry and I’m ending here. Have to zzZ soon.[LINE] [I did that to see the blood.I want it to hurt.I want to know that I am still in control.I want to feel alive.]
In the morning,I had training.I was so tired and had this bad headache,but still had to drag myself there.And I reached school very early.Like slightly before 8?Went to the track..didn't notice jade was at the stone table.So went to foyer to wait for Yani.My headache was slightly better,but not that much.Just crapped around until training begun.Oh and I wore black FBTs for the first time today.I felt weird,and I'm sure I looked somewhat weird as well.Erhmz..let's see..as I predicted,I didn't even talk to any of the seniors.I pretty much ignored them(not really on purpose) and didn't say much.Mr Seem asked Haiyun to do discus and Amelia and Amanda to do shotput..so poor old me was left alone with the seniors.Extra....Hmm..me and jade basically ignored each other and hardly acknowledged each other's presence.Now why am I not surprised?She just merely looked at me and I just looked back,looking like i was trying to see through her.Bahh...
Then we did simple drills,and I think Audrey vomitted or something.I had that feeling the whole training.Like I was going to vomit anytime,but there was nothing in my stomach to churn up.Simply because I didn't eat breakfast.It was like something was lodged in my chest,and it could neither be swallowed or puked out.It was horrible.The sun was scorching and I just felt like fainting on the spot.My back hurt like hell and my throws lacked energy.I so wanted to die from the heat.All my throws started getting bad to worse,and Mr Seem definitely wasn't helping.Sorry to say this,but he seems very uptight now.I know he is stressed and worried because competitions are near and stuff like that,but I could almost predict what he was going to say each time.But it was really too hot and I was damn tired.I think everyone was.He said that we have to finish everything by 11,then he would give us something else to do.We were all so glad at 11,because we thought we could stop.This was probably so for me,because I have been throwing without a break.But.he told us to go to the area between the tennis courts to throw.I think my legs just liquidified or something.It was so hot and so tough,it took much of my willpower to stand there and throw,defying my tired limbs.But one really good news is that,I managed to get past 18 for about say 3 throws?I did it with my 9 step.But the worst part is that I can only do that after doing an exceptionally bad throw.I suppose I am still happy about it though.At that time,I really couldn't feel happy or anything,because I was feeling so dead.So pushed to the limit.I just went up there,to give as my energy as I could master,and just get it over with.I seriously just felt very numb.Afterwards,I tried to re-capture the technique,but I realised I really couldn't remember anything.
After that went to some coffee shop to eat lunch with Seon,Amelia,Amanda,Audrey ,Liang Ming and Jade.Ate the ban mian(some kind of flat noodle) and some dumpling thing.I was very mean..made Seon pay first.Haha then it's like alot of rubbish and I couldn't finish my noodles.It was like one full bowl even after everyone else finished.I always eat that kind of noodle strand by strand.Then eat until very slow...in the end very full so didn't finish it.Afterward went to Amelia's house.Okay we went to Tampines Mall first.Walked around like all the sports shops and I saw several pairs of Nike shoes which look really nice.I shall make my mum go there one of these days.
Went Amelia's house..er slacked around..watched tv,listened to some of her CDs and did some work.After that Amanda's mum gave me a lift home.Yup..played around and slacked also.Tomorrow is going to be another boring day filled with tuition.Can't go jamming.I'm bored.Shall go and find something to do.[LINE] [I'm trying to forget,to let go of the past.But why does it seem so impossible now?]
Okay I'm back now..and I just finished reading a hell lot of blogs.Majority of those people complained about how their life sucks.To tell the truth,it got kind of irritating after a while.If they say their life sucks,maybe they should just try and justify it?Most of them were just stringing the words together,and going on and on about their depression.Maybe some of then do have actual,solid reasons to be depressed and attempt to commit suicide,but most were just bitching about how they didn't have enough cash to get what they want,or their parents were just restricting them,and not giving enough freedom so that they can go out and rot their brains by doing senseless stuff like dumping their money away.In other words,most of them were just teenage girls bitching about their lives and their lack of luxury needs.What can they actually complain about?That they actually have the privilege of having education so that they can whine and complain away?Or maybe about having Internet connection so that they can post their problems online?Let's face it.We're spoilt.Seriously.I admit that even I am.I complain about the slightest things that go wrong in my life,never stopping to think about what other people might be going through.While I am sitting in front of the computer,frying my brains,maybe I should think of those unfortunate people in 3rd World countries who are frying themselves under the scorching sun.I think I should start learning to be more appreciative of my life.Maybe we all should.
Whenever I think about it,or read about people who have to try so hard to just let their whole family live,I start feeling so..useless I guess.These people slog so hard for something that I take so much for granted.I just feel like giving up my life to someone who can actually appreciate it.Unlike me.I have practically everything I want,yet I seemingly am never satisfied.But then again(here comes the contradicory thoughts),if those people were like me,born into relatively well to do families like mine,would they also start to take everything around them for granted?Well..just something to think about.[LINE] [I see the world through rose-tinted glasses.Not]
Bah..my head hurts to hell now and I am so fucking dizzy.It just hurts to shift my gaze.It takes a few seconds for my eyes to focus.Everything goes blur for a second before it becomes clear.And guess what?I haven't been online for even an hour.This is the first time this is happening,but I don't feel like going off.I still have homework to complete,but then again,I'm too lazy to sit my butt down and actually start work.I feel like going to McDonald's for lunch.But think of the fat value.Plus I just ate it for dinner last night.I don't think I can stand the thought of drinking the oil again.Yes.That's what we are doing when we patronise fast food restaurants.Hell,why are they called restaurants?Because of the airconditioning?They just dip the food into gallons of oil,and the food absorbs the oil into it.When you take a bite of fast food,think of all the fat and oil that you are actually consuming.The oil is used and re-used several times,till it becomes all black,and deep-frying masks the freshness of the food.Imagine..do you actually know what you are stuffing you face with?I'd rather stick with my fruits and vegetable thankyouverymuch.But wait,when was I ever into fruits and vegetables?I want fast food.I crave it.I'm just trying to deter myself from eating it.
I think I'm just crazy now.I'm babbling away senseless-ly and just contradicting myself.My eyes hurt and my head hurts.I just feel like kicking someone now,and I'm certified as Soon To Be Blind.Whoopee.I can't see words even from a small distance now.All of them just fade into a pathetic blur and I have to squint.Watching too much television has definitely not done me any good.Neither has trying to avoid my homework.Then again,it could be the radiation from my handphone.I have been messaging since I woke up,and last I checked,phone radiation doesn't do wonders for your brain.Well I shall end off with a quiz and go hunt for some panadols around my house.
Just finished my english comprehension and summary..oh and about half of the maths worksheet.I suppose I count that as an accomplishment.I am going to try and complete my maths as soon as possible.Hopefully by tonight.I think that's kind of impossible though-considering the slacker that I am.I will probably start procrastinating and telling myself I still have so many days left when the truth is..I'm running out of time.I seem to have so many things to complete.There is like a lack of time and tons of things to do.But guess what I'm still doing now?SLACKING that's what.I'm still going out..trying to catch all the latest movies and watching all those shit movies that is equivalent to dumping my money down the toilet bowl and flushing it to rub salt on my wounds.I am feeling sore and my wallet suddenly seems to much lighter.[b]I don't wonder why[/b].I have been spending money like my parents own the bank.The most expensive outing was with my sister.Yep.You got that right.My [b][u][i]sister[/i][/u][/ b].Unbelievable isn't it.The irony.I practically blew 1/3 of my allowance on that particular time.Was feeling a little generous and decided to be nice to her.I paid for all her expenses.I do feel the pinch,but surprisingly,it's not that bad.Probably because of all the abuse my sister has to take from me when I'm in a bad mood,this should be considered repayment since I have been extremely bad to her.Then why the hell am I complaining?I am contradicting myself now,because I am going out of my mind.My mind knows I have alot of homework,but it can't make my lazy limbs move to do it.
This holidays,I feel that the thing I have been doing most is waiting.Yes.[b]Waiting[/b].I haven't even spent so much time doing homework or watching tv or anything else.Just waiting.Sitting and stoning.Oh and I have spent almost as much time on the net.Well..waiting may not be so bad..I don't really spend much money waiting.But I have no idea what [b]exactly[/b] I'm waiting for.Well..okay..I'm waiting for something to happen,and also somebody.I don't know what results my waiting will have.But I just feel I have to wait all the same,because it will not be in vain.Gahh..I just keep sitting here and hoping.I don't even know if it will happen.I wish there could be some kind of clue.Anyways I'm starting to crap.Pardon me..I'm in a very bullshitting kind of mood now.Everything I say contradicts or makes no sense.
Why is it that everytime after I feel that I have the guts to do something,the opportunity just slips away in front of my face.I think it's just there to mock me.To get my hopes up and then bring it down [i][u][b]hard[/b][/u][/i] .It's probably just waiting..waiting to see my disapointment.To make me see how it feels like to have something taken away from right in front of you.I hate that feeling.I'd rather not have it in the first place,then to have it and lose it again.If I didn't have it in the beginning,I wouldn't harbour so much hope and be so disappointed.I would rather stand in the corner,[u]wishing[/u] that I had it,but not actually having it.It beats having something and losing it again,yet knowing you can do nothing about it.This sucks.That pretty much sums up everything.But at the end of the day,I guess I have only myself and myself to blame.For being the pathetic coward I am.I don't even have anyone or anything to push the blame on.I can only berate myself.I shall go off to reflect on how stupid and uninitiative I am.[LINE] [Wait and see.I won't fall]
I'm seriously going blind now.I surfed the net for about 9 hours yesterday.Actually,it's 10.But one hour was spent going to the shop and walking around the whole estate with Jade,so it doesn't count.When I finally logged off,my eyes were hurting and all I could concentrate on was the bright light that was given off by my monitor.I couldn't even like shift my eyes to view other things.It was like everything just faded into the background and I could only focus on the screen.My eyes were transfixed,without rest for multiple hours of gawking at the computer screen.I am seriously going blind.I don't even take a break in between.I know I should,but I can't help it.I don't even know what I was doing.Well okay actually I do.I was going around,trying to find things to while my time away while I [b]waited[/b].What was I waiting for,I shall not say.In the end,I think I kind of suceeded.Haha are you confused?I'm not surprised.I am going to start on my homework now,and take my eyes off this thing for a little while.
My sister is currently wailing like a spoilt brat and I just want to stuff the bloody remote control down her throat.She's not even really crying..she's just throwing some kind of tantrum and it is grating my ears and getting on my nerves.I just want to tell her to Shut Up,but I have to act the role of a good sister.Like [i][b]whatever[/b][/i].But I'm off to be a good girl now and start on my mountain of homework.[LINE] [Don't speak about what you know nothing of]
To see what each one means,Click Here [LINE] I have done this quiz several times,but I just came across it again today and decided to do it another time,to see if the results would differ from the times I've done it in the past.I think most of it is the same,but some like Schizoid went down.It used to be Very High.I remember the first time I took it,everything was either High or Very High.Yupx...
Time:2.39pm Listening:Sound from TV Doing:Sms-ing Chatting:Jade Feeling:tired
Today,there was training.It was so tough and so tiring I could have just dropped dead.Went there in the morning,did warm-ups then did Javelin for the rest of the day.Then the ground was wet and I had no spikes.So horrible...all the rest wore spikes then I wore my normal track shoes.The ground was so wet that I thought I would fall anytime.Was trying to be cautious when doing the cross steps,in case I slipped.Just kept throwing and throwing,and my throws just got worse and worse.I tell you..it was so horrible.Then Mr Seem also very -_-" with me already.He kept on telling me to go faster,be fast,arm must go faster..but I just can't seem to get it.Was very pissed with myself.Then he made us go to the place between the tennis courts there and throw.I tell you..my throws were so pathetic they couldn't even reach 18.Then Mr Seem made us throw until like 12.15.It was the latest training I've been to so far.He also suggested I get those kind of cross-country spikes.Coz any form of spikes would be good so that I can have a good grip.Plus Ms Wong is currently in Canada,so cannot give me any spikes they have in the storeroom or whatever.
After that walked out to the bus-stop with Jieming,Audrey,Jade and Sabrina because my mum was at some Singapore Post thing.After that the stupid bus wouldn't come and then my mum came lol.SHe was passing by and then gave Sabrina a lift to the IBS,and Jade a lift home.After that she went to get food for lunch.Went home...went to watch Fruits Basket thanks to Jade's recommendations.It wasn't bad lah.Only I didn't really know who was who.After all,it's my first time watching it.And it was kind of touching.Hmmz..that tiger..that small girl..she was bullied and refused to speak.Even when everyone was shunning her and not talking to her,she was still able to smile.It's like such a sad feeling....Hah..and Jade was so deperate to go home and watch the show.Lol then my mum came and sent her home,around 20 minutes before the show.Before that,I was trying to be pessimistic and tell her that the bus wasn't going to come anytime soon.Haha so mean..
Then..came home..watched show..ate..bathed..changed..came to use computer.Jade was online..talked to her..just crapped and did alot of rubbish..played this lame game called 'chicken invasion'(her recommendation again).After that she wanted to go to the shop and then asked if I wanted to go along.Since I was so dead and bored,I went...she bought chips and stuff coz her friend was going over.Walked in and out of the shop looking for stuff to get.Finally..I bought the Tropicana ice-cream(the one with lime on the outside and milk on the inside) and also bought 1 for her..yarh....treated her kae(I'm nice).Then she was saying she didn't want because it always dripped and stuff.I was insisting that she take it..and halfway up,it started dripping...haha I was laughing and then she kept on complaining she was hot.I was wearing all black and she was wearing white.Lol..I have a lack of clothes.Jeans are considered formal.Then she came to my house to use the tap coz she dripped ice-cream all over her hand.Then..we walked around the estate.Went to some ulu playground and sat there.She absolutely refused to go on the swings,and sat there munching her chips.Lol I'm being evil.After that...walked..talked...her friend called and she had to go..since she walked up to my house just now,I walked her back home.Then walked home again..so here I am.Oh and she said Harry Potter wasn't that good.Haha..but I still wanna watch it.Abit ironic ain't it..that we can talk so much out of training.I bet at the next training,I won't even be able to open my mouth to talk to her.Not that I would have time to.Everytime I go for training,my head is just filled with thoughts of my pathetic throws...
Oh and in case you're wondering,I tried to box the thing at the top..the one that says time etc..but the thing doesn't work.The html just goes haywire..so it shall stay this way till I find another way to box it up.But it shall mean alot of html again..sigh...[LINE] [Things aren't always as bad as they seem.When doors are slammed in your face,windows are opened somewhere.Things always happen unexpectedly.You just have to be patient and take things as they come.Everything will work out in the end.It always does]
I think I'm obsessed with orange.I just love it now.It's such a nice colour don't you think?I like it because it is so bright..and that's ironic because I don't really like bright and happy stuff.Anyways I'm aware it looks abit weird like this,but hey..I like it.So [i][b]you[/b][/i]..yes you..you just have to live with it.
Guess what..I just realized how much I hate commitments.I hate having to tie myself down to a particular thing,and having to stick to it till it's over.It makes me lose my freedom.I am getting weighed down by the stress of being committed to so many things.Some I can't help,but it tires me all the same.Just like CCA,stresquared,school..and the list goes on.Some I don't mind,but added with the other stuff,it just makes me very exhausted.And I don't really hate any particular thing..I just hate making commitments in general.It makes me feel that I [b]must[/b] finish that thing I started,or I'll be letting people down.Myself included.I just hate it when I leave something halfway,and people give me this 'it's all your fault' kind of vibe,but they just tell me 'it's not your fault'.Yes..thus I conclude..I dislike and detest commitments.
Oh yeah..anybody has any idea how to transfer tbucks or give them to another person?[LINE] [if it's over,let it go]
Time:6.17pm Listening:Ni He Wo by Wang Lee Hom Doing:Nothing Chatting:Joshua Feeling:Nothing
Okay..first entry here..been a long time since I touched tblog..let's see..what happened today..Woke up in a good mood.Had an extremely weird dream which I shall not go into.After that..watched tv..ate lunch..and went to j8 with my sister to watch Shrek 2.Bought the tickets for the 1435 show.Walked around..went to Mini Toons to buy sweets and my handphone cover,before going to the foodcourt to get a drink because she claimed she was going to dehydrate on the spot.After that..went to get popcorn and drinks before going into the cinema.We didn't get very good seats.4th row from the front.But I guess not as bad as those people in the front row.The cinema was quite packed,and my sister was making a lot of noise.She didn't bother to whisper and was talking very loudly..
Okay about the show..I think it was not bad.Hah I just love Donkey.Talks alot and lightens veverything up.It was quite funny larh and if you haven't watched it,maybe you should consider watching.It's for those people who need light-hearted comedies to cheer them up.You get to see Shrek in human form,and the fairy godmother..dunno what to say about her lol.Puss in Boots..enemy turned friend.Haha then when he gave that wide-eyed look,everyone was going 'so cute'.Haha yes..I guess that's all I'm going to say now.Don't feel like typing much anymore.
Considering this is a new blog..I suppose I have to go through everything slowly again and get the look up and running.So pardon me if it just looks weird and stuff...[LINE] [Pain is an Illusion]
