Okay my mood has been dampened after reading somebody’s blog entry. I shall not mention the name of the person, but that entry hit pretty much close to home. I have no intention of letting any of you know more about me than you do now. Call it paranoia, but I don’t care. How much do you know about me? And reversely, how much do I know about you? I think I can safely say I know much more about everyone than you think. It pays to observe. But let’s just keep things at this level. It’s absolutely disgusting to know that there’s somebody who knows so much about you. You might not agree, but this is not about you. You can choose not to trust me. I don’t mind. It’s your life afterall. But people who do, may actually end up on the losing end. Don’t trust somebody you do not know the background of-in other words, a stranger. Your parents have been teaching you that since young haven’t they? Then you think, of the people around you, how many do you know the backgrounds of? You probably don’t know much about mine. So much has been weaved to cover up the original. Other than the basics, don’t believe everything you hear. I am practically a stranger to so many. What you believe is what I choose to make you believe. Does this sound clichéd? You see this kind of entries in a lot of teenagers’ blogs nowadays. Yeah, so you think, she’s just trying to make herself seem pathetic? You know what? Maybe I am. Believe what you want. Maybe I’m some attention seeking pathetic turd. You wouldn’t know, would you? Seriously speaking, other than certain people, I mostly have this very heck-care attitude to a lot of people. A lot of things I would be more than willing to stand on the sidelines to watch with the mere interest of an onlooker. But the responsibilities in life dictate every one of us to take up a role so that we won’t turn into selfish little bastards. Yeah… not many people can actually generate my interest and concern. Very few times, I will actually take the step forward to actually [b]show[/b] the concern. It normally comes as a surprise or even a shock to people, because no matter how I feel about the matter, it’s not usual for me to show care and concern. Very not me indeed. I think this has been long enough. My point is that, No I do not actually trust many people around me, and I do not expect them to trust me at all or even partially.
I felt that sense of irritance again today. It’s happening very often lately. 3 days in a row. It’s definitely not a good sign. It’s not those kind of mild annoyance. Instead, it is one of piled-up anger, which could be triggered by one small incident. That sense of irritance just wells up and I have to cool down myself, and swallow it back before being able to communicate normally again. Otherwise my talking will be in a very unnatural way. I just feel like jumping down someone’s throat and tearing something apart. It will give me the sense of satisfaction that I am currently seeking.
Amelia had her WALA competition. Just for general knowledge, it is an International Competition. I hope she does well in it, and may luck be with her all the way. Yeah and I don’t care what everyone thinks of her or whatever. You are entitled to your own opinion. Only I would appreciate if you keep it to yourself, and don’t voice it to me. Tell the rest of the world, but I don’t want to know.
Mr Tay let us go out of the class today, and it was the first time he ever had a maths lesson out of class. Ms Tan looked slightly amused as we trooped out of the class, and I bet the people in 2S were amused too. Well who could blame them. Had meeting. Was briefed on the Nationals for a long time before going for training.
Our class has the dance competition tomorrow. Regardless of the conflict that I heard they had, I hope they do well. Really. They deserve to, after the effort and teamwork put in to pull it off. Yeah I hope they have that enthusiastic spirit they had while trying to secure a place in the finals. I know they can do it.
About stresquared, I repeat my stand. I did not disagree with the idea of playing, but neither did I agree. I am and will remain a neutral party to the end. I will most probably go along with the choice everyone has made, provided we are granted the permission. I just want to make my position clear. I will not play if 1) I do not feel that I can perform up to the required standard, 2) There are reasons which lead to me being unwilling/unable to play. Reasons which I may or may not feel inclined to share. Whether I play or not, may end up as an undetermined factor, but for right now, I think I will be. I hope this is relatively clear, and I apologize for my tone now, as I am currently not in the best of moods.[LINE] [You were gullible enough to think that I have already forgiven and forgotten. Let me update you. I do not forgive. Neither do I forget.Never.]
